« 5 Top Vacation Ideas For Seniors | Home | After You’re Gone – Avoiding Family Tensions »
Make Time For Your Adult Children
Making time for your adult children may come as a chore sometimes.
If you have adult children now, they are living their own lives – and perhaps they have their own children now as well. There was a time when you were the young parent and made the most of the time with them (or at least you should of).
Since we do not stay young forever and our lives evolve, we must adapt to these changes. While your children may be more independent now, does not mean you stop being a parent.
You did your job well because they are living their own lives. You gave your children and opportunity to succeed – either with financial support, emotional support or both.
How can you make more time for your adult children?
There are many ways but you must make the effort and want to spend time with them. If your children live near your home, have a date set when you meet, Sunday for example, and you spend the majority of the day together.
Everyone’s schedule is different so whatever works for you and your children should be discussed.
What if your children have moved across the country away from you? This is a bit more tricky but frequent, once a week or more, phone calls should keep you in the loop as to what is going on in your children’s lives. Do not go on long, dry spells not speaking with your children. Should you call them ten times a day? No, you should not but speaking with them a couple times a week does not hurt anyone.
If you have had a lukewarm relationship with your children over the last few years, do not worry. If you and your children love one another you can make amends. It is very important at developing a new & fresh relationship (beginning again) rather than focusing on the past.
Listening to your children rather than preaching to them will go along way – sometimes the best thing to do is listen rather than scolding them for their mistakes. You may want to offer advice but feel you are telling them what to do. In this case, offer a few comments and give them support. They are the adults now and will have to learn life the hard way – as you once did. Does this mean you should not give advice? You can, but do not tell your children what to do but make suggests rather.
Spending time with your children does not mean you have to spend every day with them, they need breathing room to grow. It is not so much how much time you spend together, but the quality of the time spent with you and your children that matters.